To be or not to be? A Pittsburgher would have no idea what this question is asking, and possibly miss the cliché Shakespeare reference. If you are an English teacher or simply a grammar policeman in Pittsburgh, get out your verbal red pen. Pittsburghers like having poor grammar.
For instance, if a Pittsburgher forgot to wear a bib at a fish fry, he might say, “Jeez oh man. My shirt needs warshed.” A normal person (not indigenous of Pittsburgh) would say, “My shirt needs to be washed.” “The grass needs cut” is another good example. This is so ingrained into the city’s vernacular that many Pittsburghers go their entire life without any awareness of this mistake.
Also, it should be noted that when within the confines of the Pittsburgh region, no one actually ‘says’ or ‘speaks’ anything. This may be confusing because Pittsburghers are notorious for never shutting the hell up. Further explanation is in order: Pittsburghers don’t use verbs that are defined as verbalization.
Normal Person: I went down to the market and this guy said, “All yams are $1.99 per pound,” and I replied, “I’ll have two pounds.”
**compared to**
Pittsburgher: I went dahn to the market and this guys goes, “Yams are $1.99 per pound,” and I go, “Screw off!”
To where exactly are all these Pittsburghers going? Furthermore, why is it that all their things desperately require the ownership verbs?
Pittsburghers also may command to higher the T.V. In this instance, it’s crucial that you refrain from stacking phone books beneath the flatscreen, and simply raise the volume. And when preparing dinner, Pittsburghers like to dethaw the chicken. Obviously, they mean defrost or just thaw, because dethaw would be to refreeze, and how can one refreeze already frozen chicken? Yes, it’s complicated; all great Pittsburgh things are.
ajgrieco
