Nothing gets a Pittsburgher’s heart racing like ethnic food. Now you might be confused as to what qualifies as ethnic food in the eyes of a Pittsburgher. Your best bet is to stick to the confines of Eastern European and Mediterranean countries. Polish food—yes. Soul food—no. Indian food—hell no.
Pittsburghers like pierogies, and not just any run-of-the-mill, frozen food aisle pierogies. They like nun pierogies. Nun pierogies are hand crafted by nuns like Nikes by toddlers in Thailand. This basic oversized, potato entrée is usually manufactured deep in the basements of Polish Orthodox, Ukranian Othodox, and Roman Catholic churches. (The same dungeon-esque production process applies to spinach pies, except insert Greek Orthodox in to the church category.) They even race giant pierogies at baseball games.
At ethnic food fairs, trade shows for all things foreignly delicious, Pittsburghers are persistent on pronouncing food correctly when ordering. In fact, ethnic food is the only area of language where pronunciation matters to Pittsburghers.
For example, when Pittsburghers order a gyro, they are sure to pronounce it “year-o” followed by a glare at the vendor as to say, “Yeah, I’m worldly. What of it?” Pittsburghers have an innate fear of sounding too Waspy. Pittsburghers’ precise pronunciation also holds true with all Italian meats and cheeses (especially when ordering at Strip District deli counters).
When attending Pittsburgh social functions not focused around flag-hanging holidays or sporting events, bring imported cured meat or haluski to secure your seat at the major holiday functions. Bring a bundt cake and you’ll be at the kid’s table.
ajgrieco
