Pittsburghers like Jeff Goldblum mainly because they like anyone from Pittsburgh. They have running databases of famous Pittsburghers in their memories at all times, and are impressed when outsiders mention the fact that the subject of a conversation is originally from Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgher: Did you know the dead body in “The Big Chill” is Kevin Costner?
Out-of-towner: Yes, but did you know that Jeff Goldblum from that movie is from Pittsburgh?
Pittsburgher: I did know that, but I have a new found respect for you and your Steel City knowledge.
However, this scenario is unlikely to play out in your favor if the subject of conversation is internationally known as coming from Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgher: The Andy Warhol Museum has oxidized piss splattered on canvas.
Out-of-towner: Warhol’s from Pittsburgh, ya know?
Pittsburgher: Everyone knows ’at, you jagoff.
Secondly, Pittsburghers like Jeff Goldblum because they’re hard workers. You might be thinking “Why is that relevant?” See, when Pittsburghers get home from long day at the hospital, pot-hole repair job, or single remaining steel mill, they like to watch movies, but are too tired to worry about things like plot and conflict.
Enter J.G. In many movies Goldblum solves problems almost instantly, out loud, explaining processes in great detail, with several pauses so the viewer can follow, all while commenting on the larger theme as a whole, an activity known as “getting ‘Blumed.”
Pittsburghers also like Goldblum because they think of him as an articulate and smart-looking representative of the area. It would not be uncommon to hear a Pittsburgher say, “Yinz know that Goldblum fella? He talks reawl good n’at. Like reawl crisp—Iron City crisp.”
ajgrieco
